For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
