I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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