she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
