We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
