well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize