so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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