After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I lost the right to judge tonight
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize