Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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