I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
