ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
