I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
