porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
