You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
