oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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