Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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