Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
