So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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