I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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