i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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