who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
