When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
