My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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