i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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