I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
