apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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