So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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