I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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