Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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