hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
