I just threw up on my dentist
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
