Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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