I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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