Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
