Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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