I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
