Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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