i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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