I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
