I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
