Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
pray to the hookup gods
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
