Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
