she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
