Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
