check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
