We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
