pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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