Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
