No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
