worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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