Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
