Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
