so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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