I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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