I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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