4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
