If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
