I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
