I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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