Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
