A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
