Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
