She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize