I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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