it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We left the knife in your bed.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
