sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
